wish i could call you pa

opened my secret diary

said ;i wish i could cal you pa'

tears trickled down my eyes

tried to hide

but you know how mom's are 

what happened?

nothing i said

what happened?

nothing i reiterated

wrapped me around her arms

what happened ?

i wish i could call daddy pa

she kissed my forehead 

and hugged me. i cried ,cried 

and cried in her arms

for all these years 

i was quiet 

dint tell anybody why

it was this day i see 

my diary's old withered piece

i recalled 

all the past burns my dad had caused

when i was a kid

jealous of friends and envied

when i saw sanya's dad hug her

jyoti's dad bug her 

or sumi's dad love her

seeing their lovely friendly chat 

i would sneak in my hole like rat

hide myself and cry

coz my daddy was at work

dint know why

when my dad came back 

no hug no kiss no pat on back 

in a hope that one day he would

i dint complain even if i could

19 years have passed

not spoken for even for 19 hours

no birthday gifts no birthday blessings

no not how it feels

when dad hugs 

but he has taught me something

i have learnt to ignore

when he throws money on the table 

the car keys at my face 

or look that says i am not his daughter 

i don't retaliate fight or complain

only because my mom would pain 

she would cry , envy and complain

i gulp my tears and forgive my dad

only coz i cant see her sad

even today he doesn't know my course

my friends or boyfriends

but still i hope, i crave i wish  

one day if i could call him pa